Sitting in silence: how to do it, what to expect
Quiet Wall ·
Sitting in silence sounds easy and is not. What it is like, why the first minutes are the hardest, and a way to start that does not involve meditating.
What sitting in silence means here
No music, no podcast, no screen, no book. Not meditation either: no breathing exercise, no app talking you through it. You sit somewhere quiet, and nothing is added for a while.
That is the whole practice. It sounds like the easiest thing there is, which is most of the reason people never do it.
Why it is harder than it sounds
The first thing most people notice is how quickly they want to reach for something. A minute in, the phone starts to feel like it is calling. Five minutes in, there is a sudden list of things that need checking.
That urge is not a sign of doing it wrong. It is the thing you came to notice: how rarely a minute goes by without something in it.
How to start
- pick a time you will keep, such as straight after work or before dinner
- put the phone in another room, or face down across this one
- sit somewhere with little to look at; a blank wall is ideal, for reasons on stare at a wall
- set a timer for five or ten minutes so you are not checking the clock
- when the urge to reach for something comes, let it come, and stay where you are
What to expect
Thoughts, mostly. Usually more of them than expected, and in no particular order: tomorrow's list, something someone said last week, half a song. Then, often, a stretch where very little happens at all.
People tend to describe coming back calmer than they sat down. Some sessions are restless from start to finish, and those count just as much. There is nothing to get right.
How long, and how often
Ten minutes is enough to feel the difference between filling a gap and leaving it empty. Doing it routinely matters more than doing it for long: a short sit most days is closer to the point than an hour once a month.
Silence, without a meditation app
Quiet Wall is a timer for exactly this, with no voice and no technique. A reminder arrives, the phone goes across the room, and a sound tells you when the time is up. In between, nothing.
Is sitting in silence the same as meditation?
No. Meditation usually comes with a technique: breathing, a body scan, a voice. Sitting in silence has none. You sit, and nothing is added.
How long should you sit in silence?
Ten minutes is a good start. Doing it routinely matters more than doing it for long.
Read on
- How to do nothing, on purpose — Doing nothing is harder than it sounds. What it means to do it on purpose, where the idea comes from, and how to start with ten minutes and a wall.
- Is boredom good for you? — What boredom is, what two well-known studies found when people were left with nothing to do, and why it is worth letting some of it back into a day.